There Can be No Rainbow Without a Bit of Rain....

Ok...

In the interest of full disclosure I will admit that last night was not a good night. (The multiple glasses of wine didn't help me out of my whiny sap mode either)

Randomly, after a night out at art class, it hit me. I am moving to the other side of the world in 8 months. Yes. I know. 8 months? A little early to start the water works. But truly this is where I am in the process. The part where it becomes real.

I think it might have been easier for me if I was fresh out of college. At that point you are primed to exit your comfort zone and sail off into the world, leaving everyone and everything you know and love behind. It's just what people do after college. No biggy. (slight exaggeration for dramatic affect)

But what happens if you've already done that move? You already struck out on your own? Sure not across the world...nothing really adventurous. But you did it. You created this whole new life for yourself. Established new friendships. New families (in addition to your birth given one). You have dogs! How do you decide to leave all of that?

Quick summary of my current state: Afraid, Thrilled, Excited, Selfish, Anxious, Nervous, Confused, Pumped, Giddy

Yeah...all that...

A friend once told me (regarding a different situation): "Sometimes you have to walk away to get what you want. Just be prepared because you may have to keep on walking." --this has been ringing in my head as of late.

So this is not to say that I am not still bouncing in my seat over this upcoming move...but a part of me can't help but wonder, "What part of my world am I throwing away for the chance to see the world?"



Hasta Pronto!!!

Latest Obsession

So I would like to send a resounding screw you! to Rick Steves . Yes, yes. He shows off all these great places in Europe and makes it seem all lovely and fun...but wait! He also gives it to you real! In the episode about Andalusia there were a few places that I can only now describe as "bleh" ((picture this with a screwed up face and a tongue hanging out--got it--exactly!))

This is where my recent paranoia has come from. Now I'm afraid of my placement. In my mind I am one hundred and ten percent committed to going to Spain next fall...but now I'm afraid that I could end up in some God awful tourist trap of a dirty city. Or some beach town that's nothing but a South Beach 2.0. This is not what I want. I'm from Miami. I have DONE South Beach. (insert: Algeciras- another city I could do without)

No thanks...I can stay home for this...

I want cobblestones and art. Little cafes and tapas. Not shitty shitty Americanized or Britain-ized cities that just happen to speak no English.  I want the FULL immersion.

So, I have turned to Annie Sibonney to bring me back to excitement. Her show comes on at 7:30am on Saturdays (that can report straight to hell). But with a little DVRing, I can enjoy it whenever I want. Every week she explores a different culinary aspect of Spain. And then I begin chomping at the bit to get me gone!

Of course, the worry is still there. But hopefully ((with enough chanting my desires to the universe--I may even consider burning some candles or something)) there will be a light at the end of the tunnel in the form of a awesome placement letter in May....please pray for me...or chant for me...or send me good juju...whatever you do...do it with my name and Granada...or Sevilla...lol


*fingers crossed*

Hasta Pronto!!!